Erectile dysfunction is a topic some men can be fearful of discussing. Talking about the topic with a partner only adds to the sense of fear. At the basis of these fears is the one all humans possess: the fear of abandonment in a time of greatest need. Men and women both suffer when their partner becomes aware of ED. The suffering is exacerbated by the inability to freely and openly discuss each others’ feelings.
Patients who suffer from ED need to look deeply into their true feelings about themselves for the strength to view the condition from a different, more flexible basis. How you value yourself translates to how your partner will value you as well. The value you place in yourself makes discussing ED with your partner less ominous and fearful.
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Finding “You” With or Without ED
If you reevaluate your personal feelings honestly, you will see far more value than you may have originally believed. Increasing your personal value helps overcome the debilitation ill and aging bodies often suffer. Age plays a greater role in the fear of discussing ED with your partner. Younger men can view ED as the end of their manhood. They can tend to believe that impotence makes them less attractive or desirable. It takes a lot of wisdom and enlightenment for younger men to realize their partners actually place more value on personality, character and emotions of their partner than on physical attributes. This is a point to focus on before discussing ED with your partner.
The ED Discussion
It’s important to know your partner has likely already sensed your erectile difficulties. Most men find their partners ready, willing and able to discuss it long before they decide it’s time to do so. Choose a moment for this discussion when you feel most at ease and your thoughts are clear. You’ve already made many life decisions that required serious discussion. The ED discussion, though serious, should have a mutually satisfactory goal. Be prepared to present an accurate assessment of the situation as you would any other serious issue. Allow your partner time in your discussion to ask questions. This is part of the free and open method of ED discussion. Include all of your medical information in this discussion.
Shared Sexuality and ED
If you have a life partner, remember that both of you invested in a commitment to your relationship. Life changes always occur. ED, like menopause in women, is one of those life changes. A relationship too fragile to overcome the effects of life changes won’t provide any return on the investment of commitment to either partner. This is an important thing to remember. While partners each have a share in mutual sexuality, they also have an investment in the deeply personal feelings and emotions of their partner. Weigh the insecurity of promise of everlasting sexuality between partners and the future growth of your relationship. Based on the continuing investment in their commitment to each other, commitment easily outweighs sexuality between partners.